Old Dog

When we were in Chicago, I got carded at 3 different bars, so I guess I have been feeling a little young and sassy lately. On Saturday, I decided that I was young and sassy enough to try something new and exciting, and I even managed to talk Kevin into risking life and limb with me--that's right, we took a snowboarding lesson! We ski. We aren't great, but we have schussed down intermediate trails in Lake Placid, Breckenridge and Lillehammer without falling. I didn't think that snowboarding could be that hard...I was wrong!
We went to a tiny little ski center by our house because they offer good deals on lift/equipment rental/lesson packages, and also because their hills looked small and gentle. Our instructor was maybe 16 at the most--I was right, snowboarding is a young and sassy sport!
He told us how to put our snowboards on, and after a couple of frustrated minutes, I was ready...all I had to do was stand up. Which I couldn't do. At all. Every time I started to stand, my snowboard started sliding, and I ended up flat on my back. Finally I flipped over on my stomach, got on my knees, and then, gracefully, butt in the air, I walked my hands backwards and I managed to stand. Young and sassy indeed--I believe I have seen toddlers right themselves using this technique!
Once I was upright, I snowboarded about 2 feet, and then firmly planted my face in the snow. The instructor explained that I needed to keep my toes up to avoid pitching forward, so on my next try, I fell flat on my back. This pattern of me struggling to stand, snowboarding a yard and then slamming into the ground went on for a good 15 minutes...I got snow in places that I didn't think snow could go! Up my nose, in my ears, in my underwear and beyond... Finally, after about 4 miserable attempts on the bunny hill, I kind of got it. I still fell 3 times on one tiny hill, but between the falling, I was sort of steering myself, and sort of slowing down and stopping when I intended to, and sort of loving it!
Kevin was also kind of getting the hang of it, so our wise teenage instructor decided we were ready to try the ski lift. Which we were not. Getting on the ski lift was okay, and riding the ski lift was okay, but disembarking was, um, agonizingly painful. I glided off, and for a couple seconds, I thought I would make it, but then I crashed. Kevin, who was right behind me, crashed into me--a snowboard with a full grown human attached hurts like hell when it rams into your shoulder blade! After I got my breath back, I did make it down the ever so slightly larger and steeper hill. (Don't get me wrong, I still fell, repeatedly, but moments of actual, honest to goodness snowboarding happened, too!)
I ache all over now--Advil helps a little, but I have been walking like an octogenarian since Saturday night. Who's young and sassy now? Not me! I used muscles I didn't even know I had, and I bruised every square inch of myself. I now know that skiing is nothing like snowboarding, in fact, just about every technique I would use to steer, stop and just keep myself upright while skiing caused me to pitch face first into the snow while snowboarding. Despite all the frustration and pain, I loved snowboarding, and I can't wait to try it again! Kevin is not so sure--I think he'll stick to gliding down mountains on his skis, while I tumble and crash down bunny hills on my snowboard!