Drive-By Moving

The shipping company called today--not to let us know when the container would arrive, but just to notify us that the container will only be left at our house for 2 hours. The Norwegian office told us we could have the container up to 10 days, and now the American office is saying that we need to unload all of our worldly possessions from our stuffed-to-the-gills 40 foot container in 2 hours. Maybe if we had a fleet of 25 strong men to help this would be possible, but since we still don't even know when the container will arrive, scheduling a fleet of 25 strong men might be a bit tricky! I think the best line from the phone call was when the lady on the other end told us that her company doesn't ever do residential moves--why the hell would Kevin's company relocate us using a shipping company that doesn't ship personal goods? I'm so baffled and furious and honestly, a little hysterical right now. Kevin leaves for Norway on Wednesday the 2nd for 10 days, we don't know when our stuff will get here, we don't have movers lined up because we don't know when our stuff will get here, and when the stuff actually arrives, I will have 2 hours to haul it all off of the container. But it's not all bad news--the shipping company wouldn't have called if our possessions hadn't cleared Customs, right? That's something to be grateful for, isn't it? Ack, 2008 isn't looking too promising so far!

***Edited to add: We have talked to someone else at the shipping company only to find out that there is no record of our container clearing Customs and the port is closed today and tomorrow. I guess this means that there is still hope that all of our things may fall into the ocean and we get to collect the insurance money! I'll drink a toast to that!***

Bad Dog!

This is our cat door. It leads to our utility room where the cats' food, water and litter boxes are located. We can't just leave the utility room door open because the dogs are far too interested in the cats' food, so we decided the best way to keep the dogs out was to install a little cat door.

Unfortunately, this is Toonces. He weighs about 20 pounds. Because of his, ahem, heft, we couldn't install a normal cat door--instead we had to use the small dog version. Still, we really believed we had bested our dogs. After all, Honey weighs 55 pounds, and Kermit weighs a whopping 78 pounds...no way they could fit through that tiny door, right?

Wrong! Kermit managed to stuff himself through and eat all of the cats' food. His belly must have been pretty full after his feast, because he got stuck trying to make his escape.

We did scold him for his misbehavior, but of course not until I had snapped a couple of photos of him wedged in the cat door.

In case you're keeping track, so far Kermit has gotten his head stuck in our fence not once but twice, and now he has managed to get stuck in the kitty door. I can't wait to find out what's next on his to-do list!

No worries, Kermit is no longer stuck, and he's completely fine. (Except for the stomachache from eating 4 bowls of cat food!)

So Frustrating!!!

Although Kevin's company is international and has a lot of experience in relocating people around the world, it is shockingly BAD at the whole relocation thing! The reason that our container of furniture is not at our house yet is because it is still sitting in port right now because the proper paperwork to go through Customs wasn't done and because no one bothered to pass our contact information on to the shipping company. Kevin managed to talk to someone at the shipping company today and is now on his way to Kinko's to copy and fax our passports to them so that the container can proceed through Customs. It doesn't look like our stuff will arrive at our house until after Kevin has left for Norway on January 2nd, so I guess I'll be making all the tough decisions about where everything goes on my own. I am just so grumpy about all of this--I have very little tolerance for incompetence in general, and I also really miss sitting on comfy sofas, eating off of real plates at a real table and having more than 5 days worth of clothes!

Bah Humbug!

Our house seems to be falling apart around our ears right now! It rained heavily on Sunday night and we found out that our brand new roof leaks...in 3 places! Our garage also flooded due to all the rain and melting snow--our wet/dry vac got quite the workout that night. In the past couple of days, 2 of our toilets have overflowed, the pipe to the refrigerator's ice maker has been leaking into the ceiling of the downstairs bathroom, and our microwave apparently shoots sparks. Honey has also figured out a way to escape from the brand new, ridiculously expensive fence. (The sole purpose of its purchase was to keep her contained...sigh.) In other craptastic news, our container of furniture has not yet arrived, and because the 26th is a holiday in Norway, we can't reach anyone at the shipping company to find out what's going on. (The movers we had scheduled to unload the container came bright and early this morning--oops!) We really did have a very nice Christmas at my mom's house, but as soon as the last present was opened, the last gingerbread man devoured, we had to return to our rotting, flooding, exploding and unfurnished house. Bah!

Woo Hoo!

I bought some beer at the local grocery store and I got carded--WOO HOO! Okay, the cashiers are probably told to card anyone under 30, I probably was not mistaken for a dewy 20 year old, but still, I look younger than 30. That still deserves a woo hoo (albeit in lower case letters)!

Fun with Lasers

My mom has asked for a laser pointer for Christmas two years in a row now. (Laser pointers are the best cat toys EVER! The darting red dot gets even the fattest, laziest cats to race around like kittens.) Last year, I tried to buy a laser pointer at WalMart but was told that due to the risk of retinal injury, WalMart refuses to sell them. I was kind of shocked and blurted out, "But WalMart sells GUNS!" I mean, I'm no physician, but it seems like the potential for causing bodily harm and/or death via rifle is quite a bit higher than the potential for injury via laser pointer. Anyway, I headed over to the pet store and bought one for my mom there. Unfortunately, the pet store's laser pointer was kind of cheap (and my mom's cats spend hours every week happily chasing the red dot), so now it is no longer working. This year, I got smart and went straight to Staples--they sell the high quality, ergonomically designed laser pointers. I guess their philosophy is that if their customers are smart enough to figure out copiers and fax machines, they are smart enough to use a laser pointer without putting anyone's eye out! And best of all, with that last purchase, I do believe my Christmas shopping is done--woo hoo!

Lake Effect

Those crazy, 6 feet high snow drifts in my backyard were sculpted by the fierce wind from the lake. The snow is really pretty, but the dogs are not pleased--until I shoveled some paths for them, they just sat dejectedly by the gate. They had no problems with the snow in Norway, but winter in central New York has already defeated them!

The Suburban Jungle

I was supposed to be at Petsmart today, taking pictures of pets with Santa (the profits go to the local animal shelter). Instead, I'm stuck at home due to intense snow, wind and sleet. I did go to Petsmart yesterday, which was so much fun. I love seeing all those cute dogs, although I have to wonder if tiny leather dog jackets and pink dog dresses are really the best use of expendable income! One customer came in for a picture with her python--I felt sorry for Santa, but he was a pretty good sport about it. (Except for when it started slithering up closer to his face!) While the snake was hanging out with Santa, I chatted with its owner. She said she dresses it up for Halloween, at which point I blurted out, "As what, a sock puppet?" Yeah, tact isn't always my forte.
My animal adventures weren't over once I left the store. When I got home and let the dogs out, Kermit saw the neighbor's little Yorkie hanging out in its yard. He raced over to the fence, which is wrought iron with bars spaced about 4 inches apart. My 75 pound collie managed to squeeze his head, a leg and one shoulder through as I watched his contortions in horror. At some point, the hard, cold reality of physics hit him, and he realized he was stuck fast. He tried to back up, he whimpered, he wiggled, and finally he collapsed in a pile of defeat, his head still wedged through the bars. At this point, I was a little panicky--what should I do? Call 911, call his veterinarian, or just slather his head in butter and hope for the best? Thankfully, my ill-conceived butter plan never came to fruition, as Kermit gave one last mighty heave and his head popped back through the bars. I would love to think that he has learned his lesson, but I have a feeling that the next time a dog or cat or squirrel darts past the fence, he's going to try to follow it again. Maybe I should invest in a tub of Crisco to keep on the patio, just in case?

Let It Snow!

For the past 24 hours, the local meteorologists have been announcing that a "snow event" is approaching. Unfortunately, if the howling wind and Arctic temperatures are any indication, I think this "snow event" is going to be less about jazz hands and show tunes and more about icy roads and frostbite. Oh well, I'm sitting by the fire with a mug of hot cocoa right now, so bring it on!
(It doesn't sound like Kevin is faring much better in Norway--he said it's currently about -15 Celsius. And he has no cocoa!)

Everyone I Know is Afflicted with Pica!

I just got off the phone with Kevin, who is still in Norway. He mentioned that he tried lutefisk for the first time last night, and that it wasn't too bad. I guess the consistency is less like jello and more like a hard-boiled egg (does that really make it sound more appetizing?) and he actually kind of enjoyed it with some mustard. He also voluntarily ate rakfisk last night. Kevin is staying at the old inn owned by the company and raided the fridge--to me, this rakfisk/lutefisk combo sounded like the nastiest midnight snack EVER! Anyway, as I was making "eewww" and "gack" noises on the phone, he went on to tell me that he plans to eat more of the rakfisk tonight, because there is a lot of it left over at the inn and he doesn't want it to go bad. At this point I cracked up, because how can fish which has been fermenting in the ground for the past several months go bad? I mean, hasn't the rakfisk really gotten as awful as it's going to get?

Speaking of conversations with people who will apparently eat anything, let me share an insane chat I had with my mom:
My mom: I need to get a new alarm clock.
Me: Oh, did your old clock break?
My mom: No, but it was made in China.
Me: Um, okay, and why exactly is that a problem?
My mom: Haven't you heard about all the Chinese product recalls? There's lead in the paint!
Me: I think the recalls are just for kids' toys.
My mom: Well, if lead isn't good for kids, it's probably not good for me either.
Me: *blink, blink* Toys with lead-based paint are bad for kids because kids put their toys in their mouths. Unless you're planning to gnaw on your alarm clock, I think you'll be safe!
My mom: All the same, I think I would feel better if I had a new alarm clock.
Me: Ok, whatever you want to do. *sigh*

Note to self: never tell her that the walls in her 100 year old house are most likely coated in lead-based paint!

Yikes!

Kevin's company hasn't sold our old car yet, so he has been driving it around Norway over the past few days. Unfortunately, as he was driving back from a bank meeting in Oslo yesterday, he got caught speeding by one of those pesky little photo boxes (he knew he was caught due to the blinding light which flashed in his eyes as he drove past). The good news is that since Kevin was caught speeding in Norway, the infraction won't affect our insurance here in the U.S. The bad news is that since Kevin was caught speeding in Norway (a paltry 8 miles over the speed limit) the ticket will probably cost more than our mortgage payment. Is it wrong that I'm really grateful that this happened AFTER I got my fabulous little laptop Christmas present?

I No Longer Speak English

Kevin arrived in Norway this morning, and he said that Gjovik doesn't have as much snow as we have in New York right now. (As you can see, the dogs are very pleased with the weather!) It has snowed off and on since Friday, so unfortunately our plans to replace the leaking roof have been postponed until the mercury reaches 40 again. We also realized that our snowblower is somewhere adrift on the Atlantic, so we needed to come up with a plan to deal with the drifts in our driveway. Kevin called several guys who advertised snow plowing services, but none of them drive out as far as our neighborhood. In a last desperate attempt to find someone with a plow before leaving for two weeks in Norway, Kevin decided to make a "Help Wanted" sign for the front yard. Sadly, our brains are a bit soft and mushy from the stress of the move, and we couldn't figure out how to word it. Kevin wanted to write "Plowman Needed" but I thought that first, that's sexist and might offend plowwomen, and second, it's a little old fashioned sounding. We could really go old-school and spell it "Ploughman"! I suggested we write "Snow Plower Needed" but Kevin said that "plower" isn't a real word. It was ridiculous--we discussed what to write on this sign for 20 minutes, and finally resigned ourselves to the fact that we are not clever, and that our English skills leave much to be desired! We ended up writing "Snow Plower Needed" and the very next morning, we got a phone call from a guy with a plow. What a relief--instead of spending hours outside shoveling the driveway, now I can use the time to brush up on my rusty English!

TNR

On Sunday, I volunteered at the local feral cat clinic for the first time. There are lots of farms around here and people tend to dump unwanted cats at farms, assuming that the farmers will be happy to take care of them. Unfortunately, cats multiply quickly, and 3 or 4 cats become dozens in no time. Once a month, one of the area's animal rescue groups hosts a free spay/neuter clinic to help combat the cat overpopulation problem. Most of these cats are terrified of humans and not adoptable. Instead, they live in feral cat colonies, residing in barns, mousing and being fed by the colony's caretaker. Because the cats are wild, their visit to the cat clinic may be the only veterinary care they ever receive. The cats are trapped in humane traps, brought to the clinic and anesthetized. Once asleep, they are spayed or neutered, given rabies and distemper vaccines, microchipped, treated for fleas and ear mites and their ears are tipped to show that they have been sterilized. Yesterday, 42 cats were treated at the clinic (apparently, that's not very many--in the spring, the clinic takes care of up to 70 cats!)
The weather was awful (snow and freezing rain) but so many volunteers braved the roads to help. Veterinary students from Cornell drove more than two hours to assist with the surgeries. It's easy to become angry at all the irresponsible people who don't take care of their animals, but yesterday I was reminded of how many people are out there trying to make a difference, trying to make life a little easier for all those poor stray cats. I was amazed at how efficient the whole process was. Five veterinarians assisted by vet techs performed the surgeries, then the cats were carried to my station where one lady vaccinated and chipped them and tipped their ears while another lady recorded the chip numbers and vaccine batch numbers. My job in the assembly line was to put the cats back into their traps and carry them over to the recovery room where another group of people monitored their vital signs and kept them warm with heating pads.
Time seemed to fly, and before I knew it, the last cat was beginning to wake up in the recovery area. I know I had just a small part in this whole process, but I still felt so fulfilled at the end of the day. At the same time, it's heartbreaking to know that this clinic was only the tiny tip of a massive iceberg--there are so many more cats out there, and there will be so many unwanted kittens born this spring. When I finally made it home through the snow and ice, I hugged my own kitties tightly (and gave them some catnip!)